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GayTies News for November 20, 2018

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  • Transgender Day of Remembrance Marked in New York November 19 & 2...

    A 25-year-old man faces up to 15 years behind bars for assaulting a gay couple in Williamsburg, according to the borough’s top prosecutor, who charged the defendant with a hate crime he said has no place in Brooklyn. ... Show more

  • What Leeway Will City Give Reclaim Pride?

    As the culmination of Transgender Awareness Week, transgender and non-binary New Yorkers and their allies will mark Transgender Day of Remembrance in events across the city on November 19 and 20. TDOR began in 1999, ... Show more

  • Making a Go of It

    The coalition that has been pressing Heritage of Pride (HOP) to fundamentally alter the character of New York City’s annual Pride Parade has shifted goals and is seeking city permits to stage its own march on the last... Show more

  • Chad Griffin to Depart HRC

    “The Other Josh Cohen” is a charming urban fairytale perfectly pitched to anyone who has struggled with living in the city, coping with loss and loneliness, and finding a way through in the end . Basically anyone w... Show more

  • With Dem State Senate Control, Criminal Justice Reformers Upbeat

    Chad Griffin, who has helmed the Human Rights Campaign, the LGBTQ community’s leading Washington lobby group, since mid-2012, announced he plans to leave the organization in 2019. As the group’s board undertakes a sea... Show more

  • Top International News, In Brief

    A Blue Wave hit New York last week, giving Democrats firm control of the State Senate for the first time in modern memory and offering criminal justice reform advocates — who believe current laws have undermined “the pr... Show more

Article of the Week

handsome hot guy smiling Why Do Hot Guys Make Me Feel Insecure?

Dear Adam,
At work I meet a lot of very attractive and fit men. I know that sounds like a great job, but I just feel depressed or anxious around hot guys. It’s starting to impact my performance at work. Any advice?
Signed, Sad in Southern California

Dear Sad in Southern California,
Typically when we see someone with a “perfect” body we feel: lust, followed by…jealousy, followed by…feeling bad about our body or our life.

We often make up a story about the guy. Typically the story looks something like: “He probably has a great life, with lots of mind-blowing sex and amazing weekends of fun with friends.”

Which then may lead to another story such as: “Everyone my age has a great life except me.”

We can fall into the comparison trap, which is almost always an unpleasant road trip. I want to reveal what I’ve seen from over 17 years of working mostly with gay men. I must explain that this is my opinion from clinical practice. No one is putting research dollars here.

I’ve noticed that my most attractive and muscular gay male clients struggle the most with feeling bad about their looks. They are more insecure. And it is painful for them. I share this in hopes that it helps you soften some of the damaging stories you may be telling yourself when you see gorgeous men.

Perhaps this information will help you begin to practice telling yourself a new story when you see that guy. The new internal script might look something like this: "That guy is sooo hot. I would love to do him. I wonder how he feels about himself? I hope he’s happy but he might be really insecure."

Tell myself stories? That’s what therapists suggest? Yes, we do. Much of what we think and feel are simply stories we tell ourselves. Stories can be destructive, like when they lead to racist or homophobic beliefs, or they can be life enhancing, like when they tell a story through the lens of compassion or curiosity.

Research shows that gay men suffer from anxiety and insecurity about their bodies more than straight men. Many of us aim for perfect bodies to combat our inner feeling of being “less-than.” We need new stories to help us combat this tendency.

What’s the biggest story gay men tell themselves without even realizing it’s a fake, made up story? That gay men are not as a good as straight men.

These days, after years of practicing the new story, I mostly just enjoy the beauty. I’ve learned that some of the gifts of being alive are seeing beautiful flowers, beautiful buildings, beautiful dogs, and beautiful men.

ADAM D. BLUM, MFT, is a licensed psychotherapist and the founder of the Gay Therapy Center.
(Pub. 11/18)

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Some of the topics you will see are nude men pranked to run around the block naked or run through the campus quad nude. Guys naked in public is a very favorite topic on Some of these hunky guys had to get drunk to expose themselves. And of course, we have vids on naturally nude guys, nude massages, doctors’ examine, sports videos where uniforms get actually ripped off and are shown on broadcast TV. Many times there is a streaker who strips naked and runs around the field. When they show this on TV news, (if they show it) they blur out the guys private parts. WE NEVER BLUR OUT PRIVATE PARTS on gay videos.

Oh yes, we also have kink videos. OK, it’s not for everyone, but we have guys in bondage, leather masters and slaves are popular subjects, muscle men posing in G-strings, nude surfers and swimmers, practical jokes that leave the “victim” stripped naked, and we can’t forget the popular streakers who surprisingly show up everywhere.

Do you know has nearly 3,000 of these types of videos running from short clips to full length videos. (Just to sneak this in, we have over 20,000 naked mens photos too.)

Nearly 80 percent are free with the basic membership. And the basic membership is free also. We don’t even ask for a credit card because you don’t need one. You just need to be a legal adult and complete a short sign-up form, … AND … THAT IS TI!

From the Admin...

All About Upload Photos

Posted on 11/15/2018

All about uploading photos Profile Photos Below are 2 examples of Profile Photos: head and headless. First, understand that PROFILE photos are uploaded under the "My Stuff,” by clicking on "Change Photo." Your priv… Read more

Having Trouble Playing Videos?

Posted on 10/14/2018

Fixing Video Issues We want to talk about why some videos won't play for YOU, or maybe no videos will play for you, and how you can fix those issues. The first thing we do when a member says they cannot play a v… Read more

Ask the Admin

Posted on 05/17/2018

Use "Contact Us" at the bottom of the page to ask a question.Questions as of May 17, 2018:Questions: I am blocked from seeing videos because it says my email is bad. I've been using this email address for a long tim… Read more

All about our NEW Chat Program

Posted on 11/16/2017

Yes, We Now Have Text-Chat, Voice-Chat, AND Video-Chat! All members who are Paid and Premium Members will see the blue chat box in the lower right of your screen. It’s all free to you, even video chat! (Basic and Regu… Read more

All About Our Very Special Gay Videos

Posted on 11/01/2017

All About Our Very Special Gay Videos There are sites that show standard gay videos. Those can be fun at times. On GayTies we have those too, but we specialize in all the international amateur videos that catch guys n… Read more

What are Credits and How to Use Them

Posted on 04/21/2017

Credits (to send members gifts) are a great attention getter! GayTies Credits are free when you first join. You get 50 of them. After that, there is a small fee. Gifts are not real objects; they are images rangin… Read more

How to use Date Match and Sex Match

Posted on 11/20/2016

Yes, there are two of them: “Date Match” is for nonsexual friends and causal to serious dating. But there is also “Sex Match,” which is for those NSA (no strings attached) hot sex hook-ups, either in person or … Read more