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GayTies News for April 21, 2019

NYPD Resists Calls for Vice Squad Probe

At the LGBT Community Center’s annual dinner, held April 18 at Cipriani Wall Street, the West 13th Street institution honored out lesbian actor and writer Lena Waithe, who won a 2017 Emmy for her writing for ... Show more

Conquerors and Dreamers

The NYPD significantly escalated tensions with advocates for sex workers on April 18 when a spokesperson said a letter from four local elected officials calling for an investigation into the department’s handling of sex w... Show more

Two Popes and a Comedian Walk into the Vatican…

The Metropolitan Opera’s 2019 “Ring Cycle” seems to improve with each installment. The “Siegfried” matinee on April 13 provided the debut of German tenor Stefan Vinke, who proved a revelation, scoring a personal triumph... Show more

A Passover Message from the Southern Border

Fresh on a report in The New York Times that Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI may be provocatively challenging the moral authority of his successor, Pope Francis — especially on issues of sexuality — comes news that Francis... Show more

Reclaim Pride Coalition Blasts Community Center

[Two weeks ago, Rabbi Yael Rapport and Rabbi Mike Moskowitz from Congregation Beit Simchat Torah, New York City’s LGBTQ synagogue, joined a delegation from the American Jewish refugee assist... Show more

Judith Clark Granted Parole

With just 10 weeks to go before it produces an alternative march in New York City on the last Sunday in June, the Reclaim Pride Coalition has issued an open letter stating it will no longer meet at the Lesbian, Gay, B... Show more

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Article of the Week

Gymnisths naked at populated mall Trump’s Military Ban Ignores Science to Inflict Harm

Astounded. Alarmed. That’s how I’m feeling right now  —  as a doctor, as a researcher, and as a queer person  —  while our government threatens to erase the existence and experiences of transgender and gender expansive people.

Today, Trump's transgender military ban becomes reality: openly transgender people cannot join the military — and many who are already within its ranks can face discharge if they receive a gender dysphoria diagnosis while serving. According to guidelines from The Pentagon, trans service members will be required to serve according to “the standards associated with their biological sex” and cannot “serve in their preferred gender.”

This is not a fringe issue. This is a deliberate move to define personhood in a very particular way — a straight, white, male cisgender-dominated, Republican, wealthy, colonial way. But news flash: Sex is not binary. Gender is not binary. And sex and gender don’t always match. In short, some men have vaginas. Some women have penises. And some people have both.

Today I worked on three projects: one about challenges to abortion and contraception for trans masculine and gender expansive people, one about family-building and fertility preservation for transgender people, and another about contraception and abortion for sexual minority women, especially lesbian and bisexual women. What all of these projects have in common is that they arise from the understanding that health care is worse when we don’t acknowledge all of who people are, and the totality of their experiences.

That includes acknowledging the existence of more than two genders and recognizing that people’s gender can be potentially different from their sex assigned at birth. When our laws define sex as either male or female, and gender as either woman or man, real people receive worse care, avoid care, or are harmed in the process of getting health care. Legislating the fallacy of binary sex won’t make things better for anyone.

In fact, there is tons of evidence that shows denying the existence of transgender people and their health care needs and resiliencies leads to worse health care. On the other hand, when we call people by their affirmed names, use their self-identified pronouns, and provide services needed to transgender people, health outcomes improve. Challenges to fully participate in civic life will also become easier—whether it’s getting a job, obtaining a driver’s license, having health insurance, or going to school. Our country and military benefits by more diversity, not less.

Denying the reality of who people are including that someone’s gender and sex assigned at birth are different, makes life unsafe. It exposes people to violence and vitriol. When this country is unsafe for anyone  —  specifically immigrants, people of color, and transgender people (and especially folks who live in all of these domains at the same time)  —  it is unsafe for us all. We are all hurt by narrowed definitions of humanity that only seek to limit the possibilities of life. We are all diminished when some among us are rendered invisible, cloaking the true diversity of nature and humanity.

We must all fight now because our lives depend on it. Even if you are not LGBTQ or trans specifically, we must stand strong and be heard. Now.

This fight must be waged beyond the ballot box. Speak out. Write op-eds. Talk to friends and families. Tell people about the lives of trans folks and how this ban flies in the face of science and what is supported in medicine. Do what you can in your jobs and in your free time. Support trans-run programs, projects, and businesses with time, money, and visibility. Hold people accountable to being trans-inclusive and supportive. Teach your kids not to assume gender or ascribe gendered activities to people. And while you’re at it, teach yourself to do the same: it can be tough to unlearn that life is more than either/or, but it’s not hard to understand if you simply respect, listen, and love people as who they are.

For the nearly 1.5 million trans people in the U.S., I will keep fighting every day to make sure your lives are recognized, respected, and that we make medicine and health care a better place for you all and all of us in the process. I hope you’ll join me.

Dr. Juno Obedin-Maliver is an Assistant Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Stanford University School of Medicine. Along with Dr. Mitchell Lunn, Dr. Obedin-Maliver is the Co-Director of The PRIDE Study, the first large-scale, long-term national health study of people who identify in the United States. Learn more about The PRIDE Study at pridestudy.org. (Pub. 4/14)

Special Features of GayTies

All About Our Chat Rooms
Of course, ANY member can go into the chat rooms at ANY time; it's a free gay chat room service. You do not have to be a premium member to use it. All you do is go into chat by clicking on the “Chat” link in the green header. As soon as you click to enter the chat room, that link changes to a red flashing “Chatting Now.” This is so everyone will know you are in there and they can enter also, if they wish. The book icon you see at the bottom of the chat window explains the simple features about chatting.

There are three popular ways to start a chat:

1. The first is spontaneous. Whenever you see the flashing “Chatting Now,” go in there.

2. Another good way is to arrange it. If you want to chat with someone you see on line, message them to meet you in chat, either right then, or a set a pre-arranged time later. You can also message someone who is not on line, and set a pre-arranged time to meet in chat. Some members will use our personal Ads to meet guys for chat.

3. The other way is to start an international group chat. Here is how to do that.

Here are the 3 steps to start an online chat group session:

First click on “Last 100 logins” green link on the home page and scroll through the profiles to see who is currently online.

Second, type out (or copy and paste) a short invite such as: “I am creating a group chat session in 5 minutes, please click on 'Chat Rooms' and meet us there.”

Third, send this message to ALL those gay chat lovers currently “on line” who selected “Cyber / chat buddies” as one of their interests.” Usually you see about a couple dozen members who are currently on line, AND interested in chat. Use the "Send message" link under each member's photo and simply paste that message invite, and send it.

Do this sort of quickly so everyone gets the invite within a few minutes or so. In group chats, do not get selective. Message everyone you see online.

And …. that’s it. You are done. Chat with any of them, or let them chat with each other. It may be helpful for you to explain some features of chat, while you are in chat.

We suggest that before you send out your group invites, go into the chat room first and click on everything. Get a little bit familiar with the rooms, how to have private “whisper” chats, and especially click on the book icon, which contains very simple chat instructions.

It is not critical, but the rooms are for different subjects of chat. People can chat in the Lobby, or go into a subject room to be with those of similar interest. The Kinky Basement is for guys into kink talk as well as beating off, the Boner Room is for all kinds of jo scenes, and the Friendship Lounge is for guys seeking a non-sexual chat with cyber friends. And, you may see other rooms which members have created, because you can create your own room, for your own purpose.

What to chat about? Well, of course, all your erotic personal stuff. But also about gay clips on Gayties. Gay videos are a hot social network topic here, as well as kink and romance. We ask everyone to be courteous and patient as we all get to learn more about how chat works. Finally, we suggest one other thing, … be adventurous and have fun.

From the Admin...

Having Trouble Playing Videos?

  • Posted on 02/25/2019
Fixing Video Issues We want to talk about why some videos won't play for YOU, or maybe no videos will play for you, and how you can fix those issues. The first thing we do when a member says he cannot play a vid… Read more

Ask the Admin

  • Posted on 11/23/2018
Use "Contact Us" at the bottom of the page to ask a question.Questions as of November 23, 2018:Questions: I see that Regular members get to mark 15 videos as favorites for easy "re-finding." I am a basic member… Read more

All About Upload Photos

  • Posted on 11/15/2018
All about uploading photos Profile Photos Below are 2 examples of Profile Photos: head and headless. First, understand that PROFILE photos are uploaded under the "My Stuff,” by clicking on "Change Photo." Your priv… Read more

All about our NEW Chat Program

  • Posted on 11/16/2017
Yes, We Now Have Text-Chat, Voice-Chat, AND Video-Chat! All members who are Paid and Premium Members will see the blue chat box in the lower right of your screen. It’s all free to you, even video chat! (Basic and Regu… Read more

All About Our Very Special Gay Videos There are sites that show standard gay videos. Those can be fun at times. On GayTies we have those too, but we specialize in all the international amateur videos that catch guys n… Read more

Credits (to send members gifts) are a great attention getter! GayTies Credits are free when you first join. You get 50 of them. After that, there is a small fee. Gifts are not real objects; they are images rangin… Read more

Yes, there are two of them: “Date Match” is for nonsexual friends and causal to serious dating. But there is also “Sex Match,” which is for those NSA (no strings attached) hot sex hook-ups, either in person or … Read more