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GayTies News for January 17, 2019


A Congressional Breath of Fresh from Detroit

From the Moscow Times on January 11: “The Associated Press on Friday cited activist Igor Kochetkov as saying Chechnya has seen a spike in detentions of women and men suspected of being gay since December. His comments came ... Show more

Cuomo Lays Out His Pot Policy

Kudos to newly elected Detroit Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib for telling it like it is. Tlaib’s now famous “We’re gonna impeach the motherfucker!” induced Michael Moore to proclaim her a “breath of fresh air.” For the fi... Show more

The Respite of Documentaries

Governor Andrew Cuomo released his plan to revamp New York State’s medical marijuana program and create a regulatory system for the legal sale of marijuana to adults over 21. His legalization program was spelled out in... Show more

Love and Death Italian Style

As American films dumb down ever more, with mindless action and endless Marvel comic book heroes swamping the screen, anyone with intelligence needs to gratefully look at documentaries for substance, i.e., real stories abo... Show more

Kevin Spacey and The Sugar Plum Fairy

Francesco Cilea’s “Adriana Lecouvreur” (1902) has always been an opera that critics love to hate while singers, especially veteran divas, covet the musical and dramatic opportunities offered by the juicy leading roles. ... Show more

Abel Cedeno’s Attorneys Call for Special Prosecutor

Doubtless you’ve been reading a lot about Kevin Spacey lately. The chickens — or in this case chickenhawks — have come home to roost for the two-time Academy Award-winning actor whose penchant for “barely legal” you... Show more


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Article of the Week

A Man's buttGetting to the Bottom of a Main Source of Anal Pain
By Dr. Evan Goldstein

Bottoming in anal sex can be immensely pleasurable — until it isn’t. If you do develop irritation, pain, or bleeding, or find that you are no longer experiencing pleasure, you should talk to a doctor. Unfortunately, not all primary care physicians are well versed in anal health. They may perform a physical exam and prescribe a topical cream, but sometimes that’s not enough. If you do have a recurrence of the symptoms you may be sent to a proctologist, only to discover that these specialists too often lack sensitivity to LGBTQ issues, ask for only limited sexual history, and perform a superficial physical examination.

After this inadequate evaluation, the proctologist may follow your primary physician’s lead and offer what I call an “I don’t know but use this cream” diagnosis. This cycle can go around and around, with second and third opinions offering you as little long-term relief as the last doctor. By this time, you’re likely to have become frustrated and depressed, fearing you may have to throw in the towel and (heaven forbid) live the rest of your life as a top.

I’ve seen this narrative play out over and over, and seen many gay and bisexual men and women (cis and trans) who feared they might never again enjoy receiving anal sex. The root cause is often a condition known as anal fissures — even if your proctologist can’t pinpoint it. And there is new hope for resolving these issues long term.

An anal fissure is a small tear in the tissue that lines the anus, which can cause pain, sphincter spasms, and bleeding. If you have recurring symptoms like these but your doctor says she didn’t find anal fissures during her exam, you might have what we call a phantom fissure; and it’s no delusion.

What is a phantom fissure?
It’s no different from the usual anal tear or fissure, except that it’s generated only from the pressures encountered during anal intercourse, which can cause ripping of the surrounding tissues or muscle. Because it only appears under dilation, during a traditional exam, it may appear that the fissure has healed or needs simple topical treatment.

So, what should you do? Most importantly: don’t give up. LGBTQ-friendly (and educated) specialists are determined to solve these problems and do so in a way that is not alienating or shaming. At my practice, we are destigmatizing and removing the taboos around anal intercourse, bringing the science into penetrative sex, and providing vital information to a community lacking appropriate resources. The best treatment can only be determined by analyzing one’s detailed sexual history and current dilemma to arrive at the diagnosis of pathologies — in this instance, a phantom fissure.

What are my options then?
Your first option is to attempt medical management of the problem. If anal fissures are caught early on while still in the initial stages, you could use at-home dilators or alter your sexual techniques. Not only will you become a more educated bottom, you’ll find preparation and specific techniques can increase pleasure while decreasing pain and risk of injury. Unfortunately, since so many of those suffering from anal fissures have been misdiagnosed or delayed seeking expert medical opinion due to fear of judgment, they have developed chronic issues that mean simple medical management isn’t enough.

That’s when you might consider surgical interventions. Sometimes, the best course of action — even if nothing is found during the initial examination — is to bring the patient to the operating room. One diagnostic technique simulates anal intercourse. Under sedation and local anesthesia, full relaxation of the anal region can occur and allow for inspection and evaluation of friction points as relating to both the skin and underlying muscle. (This is generally done via the insertion of progressive diameter dilators.)

For example, one may be able to fully relax the deep muscles for entry, but the skin is too taut, causing localized tearing. Or vice versa: the skin relaxes fully, but the muscles won’t dilate to accommodate. An experienced physician can spot this during surgical evaluation, but they need to know what to look for. They need to have the knowledge behind the sexual science not only to understand how to make the diagnosis, but also to be inclined to offer appropriate and proven treatments.

Once the diagnosis is made, there are corrective procedures to alleviate these issues. The overall goal is to remove any chronic scarring of the skin, which will initiate healthy tissue growth and new scar formation to build strong connections that can withstand pressures in that area. Sometimes just dilating and stretching with local lasering or cautery of the cuts and skin will allow you to get to the next level of anal engagement.

Botox can also offer benefits. Using botulinum for both the surrounding skin and muscles allows for temporary relaxation, which gives you time to heal, strengthening the surrounding skin, and allowing full dilation of the underlying muscles, until finally you can reach your bottoming goals.

Post-surgical treatment relies on a collaborative approach between clients and physiciansathe client will be advised to use at-home bi-weekly butt plugs and then return to the office for local cautery treatments to encourage healthy and tough scarring. Right before one is fully healed, we suggest a regimen to encourage strong and distensible scars, which will allow you to get to the desired diameter for receiving. Remember: the skin, muscle, and, of course, Botox, all play a key role here. There is plenty for us to do to get one back in the game. It’s not rocket science. It’s looking at this in a different light, with a different approach — science and healthcare.

Recovery from these surgical interventions
can last a couple of months and occurs in stages. Admittedly there is some significant pain during the first few days, and then some localized pain during defecation that resolves within two weeks. Four to six weeks after the surgery you’ll initiate at-home dilation with butt plugs, which last for the subsequent three to four weeks. You can certainly incorporate this dilation into your sex play, but one is unlikely to be able to receive an average penis girth until two or three months post-surgery.

Most people do not need follow-up Botox shots, though depending on your size-queen ambitions, it may be necessary. The goal is to set oneself up to fully heal and be completely dilated by the time the Botox wears off, which is around three to five months. Then you can safely engage in consistent, daily bottoming with a partner or favorite toy — and continue doing so pretty indefinitely.

Plenty can be done — not only to heal one’s phantom fissures, but also to educate physicians and patients on the resources available for this condition. Don’t accept failures in the health system that limit your narrative. We need a collaborative approach to demand high-level specialized care for those in the LGBTQ community. I won’t say bottoming is easy for everyone. It can be hard work, but as we all know, it’s totally worth it in the end (pun intended). (Pub. 1/1)

Special Features of GayTies

322 The Purpose of GayTies.com

GayTies.com, which is a not-for-profit website, is run by disabled Americans. Since its creation in 2006, no staff has gotten paid to work on or manage GayTies.com. In the company plan, no one will ever get paid. In fact, the staff still pays a portion of the expenses to host and operate the site. Money is needed to paid the contracted costs such as hosting, advertising, improvements, and repairs. This is why we have a few BONUS features, to help meet this costs. You might think that is really weird or even untrue. Why would anyone do this you ask, if not for pay?

The creators of this website find a great social value in establishing a sort of web-based, gay community outreach newspaper. Like many newspapers, GayTies has an up to the minute news section, a featured story, Personal Ads, a game or comic section (including Fun with Captions and dirty word crossword puzzles as well as a unique photos puzzle THEY designed), and an entertainment section. In addition to those common features, GayTies.com has a live chat room, a Video Library of over 5,000 videos (and growing), a Photo Gallery of 0ver 30,000 male photos (and growing), and some unique features such as daily GAY horoscopes, Lucky Numbers, tons of searchable profiles, and ORIGINAL erotic stories.

AND … here is a biggie, GayTies.com has a real customer support staff that will assist you usually within 12 hours to answer your questions or help you use the website. Wow! That is amazing. All this for free. When they say free, they mean anyone who joins (with a proper email address) has access to 90 percent of the entire website content. They only offer some videos and some photos for a low cost to help pay for the maintenance of the site. GayTies may be free to you, but it is not free to those who run it and manage it and add improvements to it

Why doesn’t GayTies get income from ads and re-directs to other paid sites, like every other gay website that features sexy videos?

It’s very simple. They hate the way those other sites operate. When you go to a site that says “FREE” and you click on something FREE, it takes you to another site that is for pay only. They HATE that, don’t you? GayTies.com accepts no advertising. There are no sneaky re-directs to other sites, no re-directs at all, there are no cookies to misuse and abuse their members, there is no selling or exchanging of members' contact info. No tricks.

A lot of our members are shut-ins or guys who are deep in the closet who need community information and some comfort and support. I know this may sound like bullshit, but some people in the world want to provide a service. In this case, an important service that delivers comforting entertainment, up-to-date news, great videos and photos, and a vehicle to meet other gay and bi men in person or just on the internet in chat.

Who are these charitable guys who created and operate this site?

They chose to remain anonymous because they do not want to over showdown their humanitarian outreach to the gay and bisexual community. But I can tell you that these men have worked for decades as volunteers in the gay community, many years assisting people with AIDS, working on improving relationships with police, One of these men is responsible for establishing and operating an anti-gay violence hotline, and in general, working to secure full right to the LGBT community. I know almost all private adult websites are probably big companies that spam everyone, trick them, plaster their sites with misleading advertising as well as awful and annoying re-directs. Gayties.com has it organizational model centered on establishing a valuable service. A service that is safe and private, run by a few guys who want to give back to the community. It’s a service that is entertaining and informative; a service that is largely free, and hopefully soon, self-sustaining.

GayTies staff wants to thank those many members for their long-term support. If you would also like to help, please buy an upgraded membership, and/or give a donation, or help promote GayTies.com on other website and forums and blogs. We need more members to post links back to GayTies.com on such site as Facebook and Twitter, Reddit and whatever other gay-friendly sites you come across. Thank you all for your support!

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