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GayTies News for December 2, 2023

Being Gay Saved My Life: Filmmaker & Writer Carlos Sandoval

In the melting pot of America, millions of individuals are raised at an intersection of cultures, from multifaith households to multiethnic families. For Carlos Sandoval, an Emmy-nomina... Show more

President Biden, New York electeds commemorate World AIDS Day

Politicians across the country and in New York issued statements commemorating World AIDS Day, which honors the millions of people whose lives have been impacted by HIV/AIDS.  Last year... Show more

Housing Works expands virtual food bank program with $300K grant

The Empire BlueCross BlueShield Foundation on Dec. 1 announced a three-year, $300,000 “food as medicine” grant to Housing Works to fight food insecurity in vulnerable New York City comm... Show more

New York’s LGBTQ political clubs welcome expulsion of ‘community ...

Good riddance! Three LGBTQ political clubs in New York City expressed relief on Dec. 1 after members of Congress voted 311-114 to expel out gay Congressmember George Santos following a ... Show more

‘Eileen’ portrays blood-soaked love in 1960s Boston

In “Eileen,” adapted by director William Oldroyd from Otessa Moshfegh’s novel, blood is the only force capable of uprooting the puritan repression of 1960s New England. Ari Wegner’s cin... Show more

Lies, damned lies and George Santos: The epic timeline of expelle...

George Santos, we hardly knew ye. Read More Show more

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Article of the Week

trans man Transgender Man and Former Athlete Opens Up About What It Means to Be ‘A Real Man’

In an excerpt from his new book He/She/They, former NCAA Division I swimmer Schuyler Bailar discusses standing out, fitting in, and what it means to be a "real man."

“I’ve been a swimmer for as long as I can remember,” Schuyler Bailar says. “I learned how to swim when I was 10 months old… and swimming’s just been such an important part of my life since before I could really remember.”

From there Bailar went on to become a decorated competitive swimmer, and eventually became the first openly transgender NCAA Division I swimmer. He is also the first documented NCAA Division 1 trans man to compete as male in any sport. But he admits the road to his success was rocky.

“I went through a lot of difficult things in my 18 years before I realized that I was transgender,” he says. “I was bullied a lot for not looking girly enough. I was always kind of different from everybody else, even if it wasn’t about gender.”

Bailar explains that, in addition to surviving bullying and social struggles, he also experienced some physical setbacks throughout his young life, including foot surgeries to correct a defect and breaking his back at 16 in a biking accident. “But all through it,” he says, “I continued swimming and swimming [even when] I thought was going to lose everything.”

Toxic masculinity embodies multiple guises, mostly selling itself as the ticket to fitting in. And, in my experience, I’ve observed something surprising: engaging in toxic masculinity is not about impressing or courting women but rather is about impressing and fitting in with other men.

I have often commented that my life has felt like a gender studies class. Never quite fitting in anywhere gave me the privilege of watching from the outside in. When I was a kid, the boys who’d previously been my friends suddenly ditched me, as well as other girls, when they realized that their friendships with us were harmful to their social status among the other boys. I listened as they said degrading things and laughed at horrible jokes around other boys but had been previously very kind and protective of me and others.

Sadly, I saw these behaviors continue throughout my college years. I observed as guys would wait and watch for each other’s reactions to their jokes, their oversteps, their comments about women—the insecurity and yearning for approval from other men was painfully obvious to me. My suspicions were affirmed twofold: First, I started to find that I felt pressured to engage in what I knew were toxic behaviors, and I witnessed firsthand how doing so could have earned my entry into the mix. Second, as I grew closer with other men in college, I learned that my experience was not unique. Many of my friends who are also men have reported sharing similar feelings.(11/15)

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From the Admin...

Ask the Admin

  • Posted on 11-23-20
Use "Contact Us" at the bottom of the page to ask a question. Question: March 5, 2022:How do I change my password.Answer: click on "Settings" then "Account". There you enter your new password twice.Question as of Novembe… Read more

Having Trouble Playing Videos?

  • Posted on 02-25-19
Fixing Video Issues We want to talk about why some videos won't play for YOU, or maybe no videos will play for you, and how you can fix those issues. The first thing we do when a member says he cannot play a vid… Read more

All About Upload Photos

  • Posted on 11-15-18
All about uploading photos Profile Photos Below are 2 examples of Profile Photos: head and headless. First, understand that PROFILE photos are uploaded under the "My Stuff,” by clicking on "Change Photo." Your priv… Read more

All About Our Very Special Gay Videos There are sites that show standard suck-fuck gay videos. Those can be fun at times. We have those too on GayTies, but we specialize in all the international amateur videos that cat… Read more

Credits (to send members gifts) are a great attention getter! GayTies Credits are free when you first join. You get 50 of them. After that, there is a small fee. Gifts are not real objects; they are images rangin… Read more

Yes, there are two of them: “Date Match” is for nonsexual friends and causal to serious dating. But there is also “Sex Match,” which is for those NSA (no strings attached) hot sex hook-ups, either in person or … Read more