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GayTies News for Friday, November 27, 2015

Anti-Gay Activists Are Running Out Of Places To Shop, Pundit Argu...

Black Friday is almost upon us, but one right-wing pundit isn't feeling the holiday spirit this year.In a Nov. 24 article for WND,Mission: America's Linda Harvey, whose opposition to the lesbian, gay, bisexual an... Show more

8 Things That Will Definitely Happen on Thanksgiving If You're Tr...

Today is Turkey Day, and you're trans. You know it's about to get tricky. Maybe it's the first Thanksgiving that you've been out to your family. Maybe you're a seasoned pro. Either way, if you're wondering what t... Show more

Here's A Stirring Anthem For Those In The World's Most Homophobic...

Detroit-based DJ Steven James teamed up with singer-songwriter Quentin Sound to create a harrowing anthem for gays and lesbians living in the world's most homophobic countries.The music video for "We Know Who We ... Show more

How To Ask Your Spouse For A Divorce, According To Experts

As far as nerve-wracking conversations go, asking your spouse for a divorce is about as hard as it gets.The goal is to broach the subject in a way that honors the marriage while setting the stage for a peaceful d... Show more

Reasons We Drink Heavily On Thanksgiving

If you're gonna eat all that food, you better get something in your stomach first.So you can forget Dad's lengthy trip to the bathroom immediately before dessert.Between you and yoursignificant other, only one of... Show more

The Only One in the Room: Rod McCullom on Covering HIV and Scienc...

In his long career as a black gay journalist, Rod McCullom is known for his reporting on science and health (including HIV). As such, he says he has often been the only person of color in the newsroom or producti... Show more

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Article of the Week

Charlie Sheen Disclosure He is HIV Positive

Shocking Diagnosis. Devastating. Hysteria. Each of these powerful words screamed from the headlines when Charlie Sheen disclosed his HIV status. They unfortunately prove that, for many Americans, an understanding of HIV and AIDS has not progressed beyond the days when a dying Rock Hudson was dogged by reporters. HIV is still portrayed as a terrifying epidemic and people living with the virus are viewed as a threat to public health.

Charlie Sheen’s story is, in many ways, an opportunity to correct mistaken beliefs about the virus. For a person living with HIV, however, these hyperbolic headlines trigger old, familiar feelings that have so often accompanied HIV: fear, stigma and shame. Misconceptions fuel this stigma, which directly impacts the lives of people living with HIV and those who love them. Many of us have devoted considerable effort to overcome these painful emotions, and with good reason. Unlike the epidemic of the 1980s and 1990s, we have a far greater understanding of the science of HIV, as well as effective prevention tools and powerful medications. Despite these advances, for someone living with HIV fear, shame and stigma are far more lethal than the virus.

How does stigma impact us? Fear of discovery still prevents people from seeking HIV testing or, if positive, disclosing their status. Stigma fuels rejection, hatred, abandonment and even violence, and the movement to criminalize HIV is growing. For those of us living with HIV, this oppressive whirlwind contributes to harmful emotions that are detrimental to our health. Depression, anxiety, trauma and the urge to numb uncomfortable emotions through addictive behaviors can all be triggered. This is especially precarious as the holidays approach.

It is essential for people living with HIV to proactively manage the feelings that arise when such stigma flares. Here are five things I suggest:

1. Make this a teachable moment: Stigma and discrimination are fueled by ignorance and fear. Be certain that you are current on the science of HIV and don't be shy about informing your friends and acquaintances. Remind them that HIV cannot be transmitted by sharing household objects and that young people diagnosed with HIV today (and who take their meds) will have a nearly normal lifespan. There is a very low risk that people with a undetectable viral load can pass on the HIV virus to their partners, and numerous studies show that PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is highly effective at preventing transmission of the virus. I believe the most powerful weapon against stigma is disclosure of one's HIV status. This is, of course, a very personal decision and it must feel appropriate and safe. When people know that someone they love or respect is HIV-positive, however, stereotypes and stigma quickly dissolve.

2. Connect with others: Isolation is common among those living with HIV. This may be due to physical fatigue or other conditions, or it can be a symptom of shame and depression. Many of my HIV-positive clients describe themselves as "damaged goods." They find themselves stigmatized by a viral divide between positive and negative worlds. Some feel hopeless and others are anxious or depressed, but each of these feelings causes withdrawal and disengagement. It is essential to fight this urge and reach out for social connection, be it a friend, a family member, a pastor or a support group. I believe that being socially connected is the single most important factor for emotional resilience and for the best health outcomes.

3. Practice self-care: Taking care of oneself is critical anytime, but it is essential during stressful periods. Getting adequate sleep, avoiding excessive food or alcohol, taking time for quiet reflection and surrounding yourself with people that "feed" you emotionally are all important aspects of self-care. Simple actions such as creating a short gratitude list are wonderful antidotes for negative emotions. Each of us develops a unique formula to maintain balance in our lives. I find that connecting with nature, playing with my dogs or spending a quiet evening at home with my partner are all restorative.

4. Seek professional guidance if needed: There are times when it is necessary to get professional assistance. Rates of depression can exceed 50 percent among people living with HIV, and are twice as high in women with HIV. Rates for anxiety can exceed 40 percent for people living with HIV. When discomfort reaches a certain level, or if there is just a general feeling of malaise, it is helpful to check in with a mental health provider who can offer effective tools and treatments (usually a combination of medication and talk therapy). It is important to find someone who is knowledgeable about HIV. You should not need to educate your therapist about your experience or your condition. Ask your support network for referrals.

5. Be gentle with yourself: It is natural to internalize the negative messages about HIV that are screaming at us from the headlines, particularly if they resonate with some deep-seated fear that we already have. This results in shame, a crippling belief that we are somehow flawed. The antidote for shame is compassion for oneself. Treat yourself kindly and understand that HIV is a medical concern, not a moral one. Guide yourself toward a gentle acceptance of who you are, the gifts you bring and your importance in the world.

Stigma can be more harmful than HIV itself. When outbursts challenge those of us living with the virus we must reclaim our strength and resilience, not only for ourselves but for those still struggling under the weight of stigma.

Special Features of GayTies

Our Wonderful Videos
There are sites that show standard gay videos. Those clips, on those sites can be very repetitive and boring . But on GayTies we specialize in all the international amateur videos we can find that catch guys naked in public or in a locker room or shower room when a team is celebrating a big win. We love all the videos that are caught on private cell phones and planted hidden cams where naked men are caught in public or private events, especially doing some very silly stuff.

Some of the topics you will see are nude men pranked to run around the block naked or run through the campus quad nude. Some of these hunky guys had to get drunk to expose themselves. And of course, we have vids on naturally nude guys, nude massages, doctors’ examine, sports videos where uniforms get actually ripped off and are shown on broadcast TV. Many times there is a streaker who strips naked and runs around the field. When they show this on TV news, (if they show it) they blur out the guys private parts. WE NEVER BLUR OUT PRIVATE PARTS on gay videos.

Oh yes, we also have kink videos. OK, it’s not for everyone, but we have guys in bondage, leather masters and slaves are popular subjects, muscle men posing in G-strings, nude surfers and swimmers, practical jokes that leave the “victim” stripped naked, and we can’t forget the popular streakers who surprisingly show up everywhere.

Do you know GayTies.com has nearly 3,000 of these types of videos running from short clips to full length videos. (Just to sneak this in, we have over 20,000 naked mens photos too.)

Nearly 80 percent are free with the basic membership. And the basic membership is free also. We don’t even ask for a credit card because you don’t need one. You just need to be a legal adult and complete a short sign-up form, … AND … THAT IS TI!

From the Admin...

How to Start Online Chats

  • Posted on 11/25/2015
Of course, ANY member can go into our live chat rooms at ANY time; it's a free gay chat service. You do not have to be a premium member to use it. All you do is go into chat by clicking on the “Chat” link in the gree… Read more

Ask the Admin

  • Posted on 07/31/2015
Use "Contact Us" at the bottom of the page to ask a question.Questions as of August 1, 2015Question:  I really feel uncomfortable putting my email address on any adult site. I feel site owners trade and sell e… Read more

Before I mention the gay clips themselves, let me talk about why some videos won't play for you, and how you can fix that issue so all videos play. The first thing we do when a member says they cannot play a video, w… Read more

Credits (to send members gifts) are a great attention getter! Gayties Credits are free when you first join. You get 50 of them. After that, there is a small fee.Gifts are not real objects, they are images rangi… Read more

All About Upload Photos

  • Posted on 01/31/2014
Profile Photos First, understand that PROFILE photos are uploaded under the "Profile" tab, and then click on "Change Photo." Your private ALBUM photos are uploaded under the tab "Media" and… Read more

How to Write a Personal Ad

  • Posted on 11/21/2013
Posting Personal Dating AdsOur ad boards (sometimes called forums) are unique to GayTies.com in the sense that they are not all about sex. Sex is nice; and feel free to place to find gay sex or romance, but you can … Read more

Yes, there are two of them: “Date Match” is for nonsexual friends and causal to serious dating. But there is also “Sex Match,” which is for those NSA (no strings attached) hot sex hook-ups, either in pe… Read more