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GayTies News for December 8, 2016


The Biggest Mystery On "Westworld" Is Where The Hell Are All The ...

Bojana Novakovic as Marti and James Marden as Teddy in Westworld. HBOIn the pilot episode of HBO’s sci-fi Western Westworld, Shannon Woodward’s character Elsie does something odd. She’s a be... Show more

What It Was Like For Queer Women To Watch Television This Year

There was a lot of heartache this year, but it wasn’t all bad. Some serious end-of-year spoilers ahead. There is still a long way to go when it comes to the representation of gay and bisexual women on telev... Show more

11 Life Lessons We Learned From Janet Mock

Writer, filmmaker, trans activist, and beautiful human Janet Mock stopped by BuzzFeed’s Another Round podcast to tell us about her skincare routine, why coral is her power color and her new film The Trans L... Show more

Trans Woman To Be Released On Bail After Nine Months In A Men's P...

A transgender woman has been granted bail after spending over nine months in a men's prison in Western Australia. Ian Waldie / Getty ImagesCJ Palmer, a sex worker who worked under the name "Sienna Fox", has b... Show more

A Tale Of Two Bills: SA Passes Trans Reform, Victoria Cans It

Transgender South Australians will be able to change the sex on their birth certificate without having surgery or going to court after a bill passed the state's upper house on Tuesday afternoon. Bulent Kilic ... Show more

Lady Gaga Revealed She Struggles With PTSD After Being Raped

Gaga made the comment after she visited an LGBT youth centre in New York City to surprise the teens there with gifts. In an interview with the morning programme Today, Lady Gaga revealed she struggles with post-t... Show more


Click on "Last 100 Logins" and give 3 guys a star rating between 1 to 5 stars. Now, ... be kind.

Article of the Week

No Asians, no black people. Why do gay people tolerate blatant racism?
Owen Jones

Racism is a serious problem within the LGBT community and needs to be addressed. Despite the determination of many minority ethnic LGBT people to do just that, it is not happening. “How can I be a bigot when I am myself a member of an oppressed minority?” is a prevailing attitude among some white LGBT people. But another far more pernicious reason is that the LGBT world revolves around white gay men to the exclusion of others. The rainbow flag is whiter than it appears.

“I’m sexualized for my skin tone and never treated as a person,” Saif tells me. “The community is trained to accept a white, ‘masc’, muscled gay man and the rest of us are not really accepted or ‘one of their own’.” It’s not the individual he blames, but being conditioned by a community that venerates the “sexual image of a white gay man”. According to research by FS magazine, an astonishing 80% of black men, 79% of Asian men and 75% of south Asian men have experienced racism on the gay scene.

This manifests itself in numerous ways. Some are rejected because of their ethnicity; on the other hand, some are objectified because of it. On dating sites and apps, profiles abound that say “no Asians” or “no black people”, casually excluding entire ethnic groups. It’s like a “bastardized ‘No dogs, no blacks, no Irish’ signs”, as Anthony Lorenzo puts it.

“On apps like Grindr,” writes Matthew Rodriguez, “gay men brandish their racial dating preferences with all the same unapologetic bravado that straight men reserve for their favorite baseball team.”

Homi tells me he has Persian ancestry, and is “sometimes mistaken for being Greek, Italian, Spanish, etc.” Once, at a nightclub, he was relentlessly pursued by a fellow patron. Eventually, he was asked: “Where are you from?” When Homi answered India, the man was horrified. “I’m so sorry – I don’t do Indians! Indians are not my type.”

And it is not simply a western phenomenon. Luan, a Brazilian journalist, tells me his country has a “Eurocentric image of beauty” and there is a “cult of the white man, which is absurd, given more than half the population is black or brown”. Others speak of their experiences of being rejected by door staff at LGBT venues. Michel, a south Asian man, tells me of being turned away because “you don’t look gay”, and being called a “dirty Paki”. He says it has got worse since the Orlando nightclub massacre, where the gunman was Muslim.

And then there’s the other side of the equation: objectification. Malik tells about his experiences of what he describes as the near “fetishisation” of race. The rejection of people based on ethnicity is bad enough, he says, “but it can be just as gross when someone reduces you to your ethnicity, without consent, when dating/hooking up”. His Arab heritage was objectified and stereotyped by some would-be lovers, even down to presuming his sexual role.

When the Royal Vauxhall Tavern – a famed London LGBT venue – hosted a “blackface” drag act, Chardine Taylor-Stone launched the Stop Rainbow Racism campaign. The drag act featured “exaggerated neck rolling, finger snapping displays of ‘sassiness’, bad weaves” and other racial stereotypes, she says. After launching a petition against the event, she received threats of violence. “White LGBTQs who are truly against racism need to step up and take ownership of what is happening in their community,” she writes.

LGBT publications are guilty too. Historically, they’ve been dominated by white men, have neglected issues of race, and have portrayed white men as objects of beauty. Dean stopped buying mainstream gay magazines two years ago. “The only time they would write about people of color is when they had done something homophobic,” he says. “The gay media is completely whitewashed.”

There has been positive change in recent months, one leading black gay journalist tells me, but only because of the work of ethnic minority LGBT individuals “holding magazines to account, setting up their own nights across the scene” and using social media, blogs, podcasts and boycotts to force change.

While LGBT people are much more likely than heterosexuals to suffer from mental distress, the level is even higher among ethnic minorities. Undoubtedly, racism plays a role. As Rodriguez puts it, seeing dating app profiles rejecting entire ethnic groups causes “internalized racism, decreased self-esteem and psychological distress.”

Many of the rights and freedoms that all LGBT people won were down to the struggles of black and minority ethnic people: at the Stonewall riots, for example, non-white protesters. The least that white LGBT people can do is to reciprocate and confront racism within their own ranks. Shangela, an actor, tells me that racism from the LGBT community “hurts more because it’s coming from people that I’m meant to share a kinship with”.

The far-right movements on the march across the western world are consciously trying to co-opt the LGBT rights campaign for their own agenda. Muslims are portrayed as an existential threat to gay people, particularly after Orlando. There are those who only talk about LGBT rights if it is to bash Muslims or migrants as a whole. American white nationalist websites now sell LGBT pride flags along with the Confederate flag. This week, Milo Yiannopolous – a gay attention-seeker who has become an icon of the US far right – was at the center of a media storm because a platform to speak at his old school was withdrawn. In the Netherlands, the anti-immigrant right was led by a gay man, Pim Fortuyn, until his assassination. In France, reportedly a third of married gay couples support the far-right National Front.

The struggle against racism has, of course, to be led by people of color who suffer the consequences – such as Black Out UK, which fights for a platform for black gay men, and Media Diversified, which campaigns for minority representation in the media. But unless white LGBT people – who the official gay scene venerates – listen to the voices of those who are sidelined, little will change.

Being oppressed yourself does not mean you are incapable of oppressing others: far from it. LGBT people have had to struggle against bigotry and oppression for generations. It is tragic that they inflict and ignore injustice in their own ranks.(12/3)

Special Features of GayTies


All About Our Chat Rooms
Of course, ANY member can go into the chat rooms at ANY time; it's a free gay chat room service. You do not have to be a premium member to use it. All you do is go into chat by clicking on the “Chat” link in the green header. As soon as you click to enter the chat room, that link changes to a red flashing “Chatting Now.” This is so everyone will know you are in there and they can enter also, if they wish. The book icon you see at the bottom of the chat window explains the simple features about chatting.

There are three popular ways to start a chat:

1. The first is spontaneous. Whenever you see the flashing “Chatting Now,” go in there.

2. Another good way is to arrange it. If you want to chat with someone you see on line, message them to meet you in chat, either right then, or a set a pre-arranged time later. You can also message someone who is not on line, and set a pre-arranged time to meet in chat. Some members will use our personal Ads to meet guys for chat.

3. The other way is to start an international group chat. Here is how to do that.

Here are the 3 steps to start an online chat group session:

First click on “Last 100 logins” green link on the home page and scroll through the profiles to see who is currently online.

Second, type out (or copy and paste) a short invite such as: “I am creating a group chat session in 5 minutes, please click on 'Chat Rooms' and meet us there.”

Third, send this message to ALL those gay chat lovers currently “on line” who selected “Cyber / chat buddies” as one of their interests.” Usually you see about a couple dozen members who are currently on line, AND interested in chat. Use the "Send message" link under each member's photo and simply paste that message invite, and send it.

Do this sort of quickly so everyone gets the invite within a few minutes or so. In group chats, do not get selective. Message everyone you see online.

And …. that’s it. You are done. Chat with any of them, or let them chat with each other. It may be helpful for you to explain some features of chat, while you are in chat.

We suggest that before you send out your group invites, go into the chat room first and click on everything. Get a little bit familiar with the rooms, how to have private “whisper” chats, and especially click on the book icon, which contains very simple chat instructions.

It is not critical, but the rooms are for different subjects of chat. People can chat in the Lobby, or go into a subject room to be with those of similar interest. The Kinky Basement is for guys into kink talk as well as beating off, the Boner Room is for all kinds of jo scenes, and the Friendship Lounge is for guys seeking a non-sexual chat with cyber friends. And, you may see other rooms which members have created, because you can create your own room, for your own purpose.

What to chat about? Well, of course, all your erotic personal stuff. But also about gay clips on Gayties. Gay videos are a hot social network topic here, as well as kink and romance. We ask everyone to be courteous and patient as we all get to learn more about how chat works. Finally, we suggest one other thing, … be adventurous and have fun.

From the Admin...


Ask the Admin

  • Posted on 12/01/2016
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How to Start Online Chats

  • Posted on 11/25/2015
Of course, ANY member can go into the chat rooms at ANY time; it's a free gay chat room service. You do not have to be a premium member to use it. All you do is go into chat by clicking on the “Chat” link in the gree… Read more

Before I mention the gay clips themselves, let me talk about why some videos won't play for you, and how you can fix that issue so all videos play. The first thing we do when a member says they cannot play a video, w… Read more

Credits (to send members gifts) are a great attention getter! Gayties Credits are free when you first join. You get 50 of them. After that, there is a small fee.Gifts are not real objects, they are images rangi… Read more

All About Upload Photos

  • Posted on 01/31/2014
Profile Photos First, understand that PROFILE photos are uploaded under the "Profile" tab, and then click on "Change Photo." Your private ALBUM photos are uploaded under the tab "Media" and… Read more

How to Write a Personal Ad

  • Posted on 11/21/2013
Posting Personal Dating AdsOur ad boards (sometimes called forums) are unique to GayTies.com in the sense that they are not all about sex. Sex is nice; and feel free to place to find gay sex or romance, but you can … Read more

Yes, there are two of them: “Date Match” is for nonsexual friends and causal to serious dating. But there is also “Sex Match,” which is for those NSA (no strings attached) hot sex hook-ups, either in pe… Read more